Smile And Say Hello

It all starts with a spark, the meeting of two sets of eyes, pounding heart and sharp intake of breath. In that single moment an overwhelming cocktail of fear, rejection and the unknown is conquered:

"Hi I'm Ian..nice to meet you"…

This story starts on a typical Thursday morning. Being my own boss these days, I've taken to bringing my laptop along to nearby cafés to tackle the ever-increasing torrent of life admin. There's something about the incessant clanging and clattering of saucers, blasts of steam and aroma of fresh coffee in the air that excite my creative juices. Due to corporate tax avoidance I boycott the main coffee chains in favour of local, independent places.

I was introduced to this one café, nearby to where I live, by a wonderful friend of mine - Dominique. It's an Aladdin's cave of hipster chic, reclaimed furniture from the building's previous life as a high street bank - hell it's even got a cinema in the old vault! In a pre-coffee haze I aim for my usual spot in the corner, however this morning, blocking my route is a large shaggy dog, laid outstretched on the floor.

Crouching down I offer a cupped palm for inspection. Shaggy dog, shyly scoots back on his legs, resting his doggy moustache and beard on his front paws. I'm patient and lower my knees to the floor, with an inquisitive sniff and a gentle lick on the hand I've made a new four-legged friend, his name is Kiko.

I suppose in a lot of ways Kiko and I are alike, both weary around strangers and take a little while to warm up! From my travels I've forced myself to take an occasional leap of faith and strike up a random conversation. It turns out Kiko's owner, Zoe, an artist struggling with her marketing and a 'self confessed -digiphobe'.

Zoe tells me over coffee that she refurbishes packing crates to 'treasured chests' - I like Zoe already. So much so I find myself volunteering an hour of my time the following week, to help her with her marketing. As a thank you, Zoe proudly hands me a beautiful greetings card with her artwork as the thank you. It might be something as simple as a smile on a crowded train, holding the door open or simply not being a complete a*sehole every day.

A simple act can spark off a chain reaction that can go viral. The worst that can happen is someone thinks you're a nutter (well they might have got that right). Take a risk, smile and say hello! What's the worst that can happen? You make a friend for life.

I've always thought if you have something to spare at no detriment to yourself you should give it unconditionally. And in this case, the chain has gone full circle and now Dominique has a beautiful birthday card!

Kiko The Dog!

Two Clicks

I wanted to share something with you tonight, to bring a smile to your face on a bitterly cold winter's evening. I went to reach out to you to let you know I’m thinking of you. Right now. But then like just like that you were gone, you’d slipped away without saying goodbye. I find myself gazing at a picture of your smiling face, your birth town beneath in writing, alongside a button that says “add as a friend”.

Somewhere in our beautifully constructed 'reality', a virtual bullet hole in my back smoulders away. It took but two clicks; one to prime and one to fire and with perfect accuracy our friendship fell: to be buried in an unmarked grave and ungrieved for.

With two clicks the digital umbilical cord that connected us became severed. With two clicks the mystical gateway into our lovingly, interweaved existence closed for business. From carrying you around in my pocket, checking in on you from time to time, from celebrating your highs and consoling your lows, my access has been revoked.

Don’t get me wrong – I too am no good at goodbyes. Neither of us like awkward conversations or confrontations - sometimes it’s simply easier to disappear quietly without a fuss. And of course, I miss you and noticed you had gone! I’m just sorry you didn’t have time to leave a note.

And as much as I enjoyed gazing in at a perfect life - sometimes it’s hard for us to see each other’s constructed attempts at perfection. Perhaps we’re not so different after all. But us humans are quick to judge and not so quick to forgive.

But of course my friend, in your darkest hours, should you need comfort when your world is falling apart you shouldn’t forget that I am but two clicks away.

It only takes two clicks.

Talking To Strangers

I’m on my way back from a three-day songwriting trip in Newcastle to finish off writing next year’s EPs with an exceptionally talented, published songwriter and producer by the name of Hati.

It’s a seven-hour, long ass coach trip back to London. I bagsee the prime spot on the top floor at the front and mentally drift off into space, to a dancing blur of lights and road signs.

At the next stop, two annoyingly loud ‘uni student’ type girls get on, occupying the seats opposite. I play a few rounds of uni student vocab bingo in my head, striking off ‘blatantly’, ‘I’m not gonna lie’ and ‘no way’ – getting a full house every game. Lucky me.

My trance is interrupted as the driver in his cheerful Geordie accent announces we’ll stop in Sheffield for a 15-minute break. To the left of me, the uni girls are attempting to roll the world’s least discreet joint.

As I exit the coach to stretch my legs, the biting Northern evening air sinks its clammy claws into my neck. Being the ever shy and retiring wallflower I am, I get chatting to a fellow passenger (and aspiring DJ) in his early twenties.

However as the conversation flows, my eyes are immediately drawn to the puzzling hospital tag on his right wrist.

It turns out through a series of unfortunate events he’d lost his job, fallen on hard times and two days prior sank 48 paracetamol, in a desperate attempt to take his life. Between tokes of a stubby roll up, he explains how he’d managed to scrape together the fare to get back to some family in London.

Taking my seat back on the coach, now £20 quid poorer or richer (depending how you look at it) – I’m compelled to mull over the prospect that it could so easily been myself, a friend or family member wearing that tag. 

If I ever need to talk, I have the luxury a phone full of numbers to call, a sea of non-judgemental ears ready to absorb rants and mirror moans. However not everybody wants to or can talk, some of us like I, just need to take action and open up when we’re ready.

Ironically, we’re always told never to talk to strangers but I’m starting to wonder if that’s exactly what we should be doing.

Do you know the full story?